When you’re not here

Verse 1

I say your name in my broken sleep.
Talk to the ceiling like it answers me.
They say there’s a plan, say it’s all divine
But I was there when you ran out of time

Pre-Chorus

I’ve been trying to hold onto faith
Trying to stand upright
But my hands keep shaking
All of the time

Chorus

I don’t have a reason
To be angry at God
But I don’t know how to agree
When you’re not here with me.
I’m still here, yeah, I’m still breathing
I don’t curse heaven, I don’t curse my fate
But I hate the silence you left in this place.
If love is the answer
They keep telling me. 
Then tell me why
Tell me why
You’re not here with me

Verse 

Your voice still lives in every room
Your laugh still breaks me in two
They say you’re safe, they say you’re home
But I’m the one still standing here alone

Pre-Chorus

If this is mercy, if this is grace
Why does it hurt like this?
If this is mercy, if this is grace
Why did you leave me here?

Chorus

I don’t have a reason
To be angry at God
But I don’t know how to agree
When you’re not here with me
I’m still here, yeah, I’m still breathing
I don’t curse heaven, I don’t curse my fate
But I hate the silence you left in this place
If love is the answer
They keep telling me
Then tell me why
Tell me why
You’re not here with me

[Bridge - spoken / fragile]

If heaven needed you more than I did
Why does it feel like I’m paying for it?
I keep my hands folded, my eyes closed tight
I still pray every night
I just don’t know
What I believe in anymore

[Final Chorus very intimate]

I don’t have a reason
So I’m not angry at God
You’re just not here
Not anymore
And I’m still here, still breathing
I’ll never curse heaven, I’ll never curse my faith
Even in the quiet, even in the ache
But I hate the silence you left here with me
If love is the answer
They keep telling me
Then tell me why
Tell me why
You’re not here with me

Songwriting Style, Confessional, first-person storytelling,male