[Intro – Ringmaster voice] 🎤 “Ladies and gents, step right up! We got a three-ring dumpster fire of democracy, starring your favorite geriatrics!” You can’t make this sht up…* ⸻ [Verse 1 – Trump’s Ring] He’s in a suit made of Big Mac grease, Sprayin’ tanner while he pardons geese. Ridin’ in a golf cart full of fries, Yellin’ “Witch hunt!” while sellin’ merch to the guys. He built a prison in a swamp with gators, Calls it “Alcatraz 2: See ya later!” If you hop the fence, better hope you’re fast— Or you’re snake food, baby, welcome to the past. 🎯 Backing: “You can’t make this sht up!”* ⸻ [Verse 2 – Biden’s Ring] Tripped on a rake, fell off a bike, Mumbled through a speech on a hot mic. Shook hands with a ghost in Ohio, Then forgot what planet he was on — “Hi, Joe!” He’s whisperin’ weird like a bedtime creeper, Signed a bill, then fell asleep deeper. His teleprompter’s got PTSD, Tryna coach him through his own damn presidency. 🎯 Backing: “You can’t make this sht up!”* ⸻ [Chorus – Full Band & Eagle Screech] 🎪 Clown commanders, runnin’ the state, Fightin’ each other while we all suffocate. A swamp full of snakes, a circus of sin, Alligator Alcatraz — where the games begin! Left, right, wrong — it’s a national joke, And every new law’s just more fake smoke. We pay the price while they play pretend, This ain’t the beginning — it’s the bitter end. ⸻ [Verse 3 – Kamala’s Ring] She’s in the wings, sippin’ wine from the bottle, Cacklin’ loud in a broken-down Tahoe. Dancin’ through speeches like it’s open mic night, Then disappears when it’s time to fight. Said “Do not come,” but forgot the map, Now the border’s doin’ the cha-cha clap. She’s VP, baby, but what’s that mean? More ghostin’ than your ex in quarantine. 🎯 Backing: “You can’t make this sht up!”* ⸻ [Bridge – Breakdown Verse] Pelosi’s tipsy on box wine rage, Bernie’s yellin’ from the nursing stage. MTG’s got a flamethrower Bible, And Cruz is live-tweetin’ from a water slide spiral. It’s a bipartisan dumpster roast, With lobbyists servin’ the burnt French toast. A flag in flames, a vote in doubt— Now scream “FREEDOM!” ‘til the lights go out. ⸻ [Final Chorus – Fireworks & Megaphones] 🎪 Clown commanders, paintin’ the town, One’s in cuffs, one’s fallin’ down. The other’s dancin’ through a border flame, While Cheep Cheep squawks and lays the blame. This ain’t satire, this is the show, Live from the freakin’ Twilight Zone. Alligator Alcatraz — built on lies, Now take a bow, America… surprise! ⸻ [Outro – Ringmaster fades out] 🎤 “Tune in next term, if we survive… Or just stream the madness live on Spotify. And remember, folks… You. Can’t. Make. This. Sh*t. Up.” 🦅 (eagle scream)

The Clown,Commanders