【Intro – whispery anime voice, seductive tone】 Onii-chan… can I borrow your joystick~? [record scratch + weed cough] Hell nah. Go date someone with different parents. 【Verse 1】 Every girl I meet says we "live alone now," Turns out she’s my step-sis, like wow. She tripped on toast, fell lips-first — cute, But I ain't tryna co-star in your family flute. One's a maid, one's a fox, one shows feet, Why's every anime girl tryin' to cheat? She calls me “Senpai” while licking a spoon, Said “We’re not related!” still left the room. 😵‍💫 【Pre-Chorus – slow, echoey voice with thigh claps in beat】 Why are there five of you… and you all love me? Why do you bathe in groups… and moan at tea? Rent-A-Girl charged me by the sigh, Then dumped me in public — I still cried. 🥲 【Chorus – big club drop, shout vocals】 No, Step-Sis! That’s illegal in my soul! I don’t care if you bake or roleplay patrol. No, I won’t pick one quintuplet, bro, They all look the same — this ain’t The Bachelor show. No, I won’t rent a girlfriend again, She charged per hug — then texted my friend. I just want a goth elf with bills and sass, Not a neko who calls me "onii" while grabbin’ my—pass. 【Verse 2】 Went on a date with a dragon chick, Tail too long, knocked over my vape stick. Said she’s “3,000” — still lives with her dad, And moans every time I say “Snacks?” That’s mad. I walked in on two girls in the bath, They said “Join us, Senpai~” — I just laughed. Y’all need help — and a frontal lobe, I came for swords, not a romance probe. 【Bridge – over-the-top spoken section with sparkly FX】 This summer, one guy lives with twelve roommates… They’re all hot… they’re all weirdly into him… And none of them own pants. Coming to Crunchyroll: “Oops! All Waifus” 💀 【Final Chorus – explosive beat, group chants】 No, Step-Sis! Back off the futon! This is a harem, not Pokémon — you don’t all get one! No, don’t cosplay as my teacher again, Even if it’s working, I’m scared within. No, I won’t pick the catgirl twin, She bit me once and said “That's how we win~” Y’all need therapy, like actual flames, Not more nosebleeds and suggestive games. 【Outro – whispered anime voice, overly dramatic with wind FX】 You’re the only one I ever loved… I just wish… we weren’t in the same family registry. Goodbye, Onii-kun… [door slam + vape puff] Blocked. ✅