I find myself

I find myself
between the space of my thoughts
a silent observer
of the next sequence
or not
I find myself
in that silence
that screams
and has its own life
in my dreams

was  I born just yesterday
or a thousand years ago
like a needle skipping
on a record 
no one knows
is this my reality
or someone else I ask
and what manifests
a future with no past
perhaps this is the real me
lost within this space
or a cork out in the ocean
floating into space

like too  many movie reels
that I'm left to observe
and substitute for my own life
I know it seems absurd
but here I find myself
not quite behind the veil
not in the cradle
nor the grave
not free
but not in jail

I pray to God
as I've been taught to do
I'm in between
the animals in his zoo
and I'm that ghost
that's haunting every space
I find myself
with eyes that see
without a face

I find myself
now and then when I'm with you
in those precious silent moments
far apart and few
I find myself
in a sea of characters that play their role
am I just playing one?
I'll 
never
know.

female 1980s acid house techno rave anthem
with Roland drum machines and Korg M1 synth strings lushly layered