Why cant we all be friends

I’m sick of the timeline, sick of the takes

Every scroll’s a landmine, every like’s a grenade

You’re all just avatars with permanent hate

Hiding in quote tweets like it won’t seal your fate

“Touch grass” they scream while touching themselves to rage

Moral superiority’s the drug of the age

You’ll cancel your mother if her retweet’s off-brand

Then cry when the mob turns and eats your own hand

I JUST WANT—

I JUST WANT—

PEOPLE TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONE SECOND

WHY CAN’T WE ALL JUST BE FRIENDS?!

WHY CAN’T WE ALL JUST BE FRIENDS?!

I’M BEGGING ON MY FUCKING KNEES HERE

WHY CAN’T WE ALL JUST BE—

AAHHHHHHHHHHHH FRIENDS?!

Left eats left, right eats right, center gets chewed

Every faction’s convinced that they’re the only true dudes

You block me for breathing, I mute you for existing

We built digital concentration camps and called it “resisting”

Your profile pic’s anime, your takes are from 4chan

You call it “based” when you’re just another lost man

Screaming at strangers you’ll never have to face

Then wonder why your life feels like an empty place

I’m not your enemy…

I’m just tired…

I’m not your enemy…

I’m just fucking tired…

(quiet, dangerous)

So why… do we keep… doing… this…

WHY CAN’T WE ALL JUST BE FRIENDS?!

(WE COULD’VE BEEN BROS!)

WHY CAN’T WE ALL JUST BE FRIENDS?!

(I WOULD’VE BOUGHT YOU A BEER!)

I’M SCREAMING INTO THE VOID AND IT SCREAMS BACK “RATIO”

WHY CAN’T WE ALL JUST BE—

FRIENDS?!

FRIENDS?!

FRIENDS?!

…can we just…

…be friends?

(beat stops)

(whispered)

…please?

Thanks for coming to my TED Talk / funeral / tantrum.

Goodnight.