Tea with the Devil

[Verse 1]

I met him by the bus stop, raining half past three
Red tie, polished shoes, said he’d been waiting on me
Had a paper cup of tea and a grin I didn’t trust
Said, “You look like someone who’s had a bit enough”

[Pre-Chorus]

He said, “Careful with that temper, son”
I said, “Careful’s never been my one”
He laughed so hard he nearly choked
Said, “You’ll fit right in with folk I know”


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[Chorus]

Had tea with the devil at half past nine
Said, “Mate, it’s hard just walking the line”
He took one look at the state I’m in
Said, “Son, you’re doing better than them”
Oh, tea with the devil, sugar and sin
Stir it once and let the trouble in


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[Verse 2]

He complained about the paperwork, heaven gets the praise
Said hell’s just customer service with longer working days
Everyone’s a critic, nobody behaves
And sinners always blame him for the mess they made

[Pre-Chorus]

He said, “You’d be shocked how few are bad”
I said, “You’d be shocked how few are glad”
He nodded slow and checked his watch
Said, “We’re both late for something rotten”


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[Chorus]

Had tea with the devil at half past nine
Said, “Mate, it’s hard just walking the line”
He took one look at the state I’m in
Said, “Son, you’re doing better than them”
Oh, tea with the devil, two lumps of truth
Burned my tongue but it cut right through


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[Middle 8, Spoken / Half-Sung]

Now don’t get me wrong, he was very polite
Held doors open, said please, said “right”
Said, “Evil’s just boredom dressed up smart”
Then nicked my lighter and my parking card


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[Final Chorus, Big, Gang Vocals]

Had tea with the devil at half past nine
Said, “Mate, it’s hard just walking the line”
He took one look at the state I’m in
Said, “Son, you’re doing better than them”
Oh, tea with the devil, last cup of the day
Paid in regrets and went on my way


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[Outro]

He tipped his hat, said, “Keep your head”
“You’re not one of mine… not yet.”

80s British ska-punk pop with bouncy basslines, off-beat guitars, cheeky brass, and theatrical, tongue-in-cheek vocals.