it hit like a desert storm like a Midsummer monsoon everything was a flash flood Everything happened so sudden so soon I tried to run away catch my breath but I couldnt leave fast enough my feet were heavy trying to outrun the wreckage Of damage already done but every step I took I slipped back five with every memory I shook every mountain I climbed I fell down a Canyon no safe place to hide from the haunting memories no peace to be found from The terrifying truth Theres nowhere for me to hide from the things I thought I had forgotten the things Id pushed so far back into my mind what I thought I had gotten over came out of the sweet bliss of denial echoes being recalled followed by falls forced to confront my fears to wrap the bloody wounds trying to breathe through all the strain but only suffocating under the weight of all the pain pain that was always there just suppressed by my own silence The pain of buried memories resurfacing I guess when I was told that life wasnt easy I wasnt expecting it to hurt this much I wasnt expecting so much to happen so soon I wasnt expecting it to be this hard I know life isn’t fair but does that mean it has to be cruel I feel like Im breaking more every day Like my heart has been so hurt it’ll never love the same way again I’ll never trust the same way again I’ll never look at the world the same way again everything has changed forever what is the truth behind this thing we call life if it is enveloped in hurting what is the reason for our breathing if we just barely survive what is the purpose for everything never told it would be easy never told it would shatter me I’m wondering and wandering aimlessly on the inside is war I fake I smile and pretend to be happy on my own behalf laugh the laugh talk the talk but inside Im screaming and crying out for help inside is war My voice is muted my glass house all of a sudden shattered and broken I’m bleeding but silently every cry cuts Every breath burns Afraid to say how I really feel confused by my own emotions that I try to conceal tired of pretending Tired of all the avoiding The truth must out I can no longer trick myself to stay in denial I never expected this I never wanted this I never asked for this It’s like I was struck with lightning the electric shock will always stay with me and I want to avoid the wounds they hurt so bad but the pain will never go away they will only blister and burn forever without the proper healing I told myself it wasn’t that bad I told myself it wasn’t what it was But I won’t lie to myself anymore But Im so afraid that healing will come it’s another fall told Im brave in full of courage Told Im strong But all I was doing all along Was simply surviving it hurts to touch the wounds and I know the scars will never go away This is what I have to do This is what I need to do I can’t live a life where every step I take a fall I can’t do this anymore I have to move forward now I have to

Buried Truth (Confessional)