Colder within

I laugh when it hurts just to feel like I’m here
Act like I’m fine, but I’m numb in the mirror
Scroll past my own reflection like a stranger
Say “I’m good” ‘cause I’m scared of the real answer
I got too good at pretending
Holdin’ it in, never venting
Got people who say they love me
But don’t notice when I’m ending
I sit in my room, let the silence talk
Not tryin to die, but the my fears just walk
Outta reach—like everyone else
So I fake it and lie to myself
And if I said I’m not okay
Would you listen or walk away?
Take the fade, turn my head to the blame? 
Where could I change it for them to comprehend. 
I laugh when it hurts just to feel like I’m here
Act like I’m fine, but I’m numb in the mirror
Scroll past my own reflection like a stranger
Say “I’m good” ‘cause I’m scared of the  answer
facing my demons, regret is a disillusion
I don’t need a fix, I just need a break
Sleepin' through pain like it’s part of my stay 
text left on read, but I'm still there.
Not ‘cause im rare—just wish someone cared
I'm tired of tryna sound deep for someone else to repost 
This ain’t for likes, it’s just what hurts most
Don’t wanna die, but I don’t wanna feel
And that’s the part nobody gets is real
I don't wanna try to find peace on someone else's shelf
being me, is truly fucking with my head more. 
I never asked to be the Real one
Never asked to be alone when the dark comes
But here I am, playin’ pretend
Actin’ like I had any friends
cuz people come, and people go. 
but who's there for you when you are feeling better on a edge. 
I laugh when it hurts just to feel like I’m here
Smilin’ like I’m not drowning in fear
They ask how I am, and I lie every time
But it’s easier than sayin’ “I’m not fine”
why lie to someone I've never met.

emo trap / alt rap / pop rock /dark country