Just being there is Enough

Sometimes just being quiet is exhausting…

But I don’t want anyone else to feel like I do.

Even if I want to make everyone happy,

That’s just the people-pleaser in me trying to take control.

Or maybe it's that part of me

that doesn't want others to be sad like I am —

If I really am sad inside.

Everyone likes different things.

I try to keep up, but it’s draining.

I’m always with the same group now,

and I’ve grown distant from others.

Back then, I had so many people around —

but that was overwhelming too.

Now I barely have time for anyone.

I feel like a bad friend.

But I still miss it —

just lying around together in Discord voice calls.

Even just hearing someone’s voice was enough.

I don’t need you to understand everything.

I just want you to know that I’m trying.

I just… still want to be there.

I don’t have to be the funny one,

don’t need to be the best.

I just wish someone would say:

“You don’t have to make everyone smile.”

I don’t sleep in calls with everyone anymore…

but I still miss those nights.

Tired of choosing sides.

Wherever I go, I feel guilty.

I’m like background noise everywhere I go,

but I can’t even hear my own heart.

And when I try to be alone,

I feel unbearably lonely.

I miss people’s voices —

even virtually sleeping next to someone

felt safer than real life.

I know I’m not the best friend.

But sometimes I just want someone to say:

“Thanks for being here,”

even if I didn’t say much at all.

I don’t need you to understand everything.

I just want you to know that I’m trying.

I just… still want to be there.

I don’t have to be the funny one,

don’t need to be the best.

I just wish someone would say:

“You don’t have to make everyone smile.”

Sometimes just having your mic on,

or being quiet in the call,

makes me feel a little less alone.

I don’t need to do anything at all.

Just being there…

is enough.