[Verse 1] Step right up, folks, the circus is in town Starring Captain Chaos in his golden paper crown He’s got spray-tan armor and a brain cell on the run Braggin’ ’bout the battles he never even won He’s yellin’ at the wind, pickin’ fights with the sky Talkin’ big, thinkin’ small, and believing his own lie Every time he speaks, it’s a national event ’Cause nobody knows what the hell he just meant [Pre-Chorus] And I swear he’s proof that WiFi signals leak ’Cause he’s living in a glitch loop every single week [Chorus] Oh, he’s the Retard King of the wild, wild wrong Rants so loud but the logic’s gone Paper-thin pride and a temper that stings Oh, hail the king of Retard things Every meltdown’s like a comedy show Facts hit him harder than a winter snow He’s allergic to truth, like it’s poison or sting Oh, all rise for the Retard King [Verse 2] He’s posting at 3 a.m. like a drama teen Throwin’ tantrums bigger than his self-esteem If chaos had a mascot, he’d be the face Stumblin’ through scandals like he’s runnin’ a race He builds tall tales like they’re Lego blocks But every one collapses when reality knocks He blames, he fumes, he points, he shouts When the mirror shows the truth, the man taps out [Pre-Chorus] He’s a sitcom character who never knows his lines But somehow still demands applause all the time [Chorus] Oh, he’s the Retard King of the wild, wild wrong Rants so loud but the logic’s gone Paper-thin pride and a temper that stings Oh, hail the king of Retard things Every meltdown’s like a comedy show Facts hit him harder than a winter snow He’s allergic to truth, like it’s poison or sting Oh, all rise for the Retard King [Bridge – 1 minute expansion] Here’s to the man who fears a fact Like it’s kryptonite ready to attack Here’s to the guy who shouts “I’m right!” While Google whispers, “Honey… not tonight.” Here’s to the fables, the spin, the lies The word salad falling from the sky Here’s to the ego that could fill a plane Yet somehow carries not one ounce of brain Every rant is a gift, a comedic reward A masterclass in being his own downfall lord If clueless had a country, he’d be the flag Flappin’ in the breeze on a used car rag [Verse 3] He’s swingin’ at shadows, barkin’ at ghosts Ronald McDonald lookin’ at him like, “Bro, do the most.” Every interview’s a gamble — jackpot or crash Mostly crash, with a side of verbal whiplash He rewrites history with crayons and glue Then swears it’s “the best” like only he can do He’s a walking punchline wrapped in a suit Tryin’ to hide chaos under cheap spray-on “truth” [Pre-Chorus] And every time the truth taps him on the back He files a complaint like it’s a sneak attack [Chorus] Oh, he’s the Retard King of the wild, wild wrong Rants so loud but the logic’s gone Paper-thin pride and a temper that stings Oh, hail the king of Retard things Every meltdown’s like a comedy show Facts hit him harder than a winter snow

R****d King