If You Still Hear Me

I’m at the bottom of a hole I dug myself

With every promise that I broke and left for dead

I hear Your name inside my head but I can’t tell

If it’s Your voice or just the echo of regret

I taste the guilt in every breath I try to take

It burns my chest like I deserve to feel the flame

I tried to run but every road just leads to shame

And now I’m here with nothing left but just Your name

I know I did this to myself

I know I don’t deserve Your help

But I’m still calling out in the dark…

If I just pretend that You still hear me

Would You come and find me in the end?

If I just pretend that I’m not empty

Could You love me like I’m worth it again?

I’m so afraid that I’ve gone too far

That Heaven closed its doors on me

But if You’re there on the other side

Why won’t You give up on me?

They say the broken don’t belong inside Your light

That cowards fall before they ever reach the gate

And I’ve been drowning in these thoughts every night

Convincing myself it’s already too late

But there’s a whisper underneath the noise I made

A quiet voice that doesn’t sound like all the hate

It tells me even now I’m not too far away

But I don’t know if I have strength to trust the grace

I’m buried under who I’ve been

I’m terrified to breathe again

But I’m still reaching out through the dark…

If I just pretend that You still hear me

Would You come and find me in the end?

If I just pretend that I’m not empty

Could You love me like I’m worth it again?

I’m so afraid that I’ve gone too far

That Heaven closed its doors on me

But if You’re there on the other side

Why won’t You give up on me?

What if mercy looks like staying alive tonight?

What if grace is calling me to keep the fight?

What if all this pain doesn’t get the final say…

And what if You’ve been here the whole time anyway?

So I won’t pretend that You can’t hear me

I’ll scream Your name until it breaks

If I’m unworthy, then still take me

‘Cause I’ve got nothing left but faith

And if I’m lost at the edge of it all

If I’m the one no one would save

Then why do I still feel Your arms

Reaching for me through the grave…