I Did This To Myself

**Verse 1**

I keep a lighter in my pocket

For bridges I might need to burn

I call it “coping,” call it “honest,”

But I never intend to learn

I say I’m fine while digging graves

For every good thing I touch

If love gets close, I suffocate it

Before it can mean too much

**Pre-Chorus**

I don’t need a storm to wreck me

I don’t need a twisted fate

Give me something almost perfect

And I’ll find a way to break it

**Chorus**

I did this to myself again

Turned heaven into smoke

Took something steady in my hands

And tightened till it broke

I swear I want forever

But I sabotage the start

Every time someone gets close enough

I pull the pin inside my heart

**Verse 2**

I drink just enough to blur the lines

Between regret and sleep

Tell myself I’m “letting go”

But I’m in too far, too deep

There’s a comfort in the chaos

A sickness I defend

If I ruin it before you can

At least I know how it ends

**Pre-Chorus**

I don’t trust love to stay

So I chase it all away

Then blame the world for leaving

**Chorus**

I did this to myself again

Watched the warning signs

Heard your voice go soft with hope

And answered it with mine

But mine was laced with dynamite

And secrets I won’t tell

I kissed you like I wanted peace

Then dragged you down to hell

**Bridge (bare, exposed)**

I don’t hate you.

I hate the mirror.

Hate the hands that push

When someone pulls me nearer.

I don’t fear being alone.

I fear being seen.

Because if you see the worst in me

You’ll know what I mean.

**Breakdown (raw, spiraling)**

I carve exit wounds in open doors

I spit at help, then beg for more

I build my house on fault lines

Then cry when it hits the floor

This isn’t fate.

This isn’t chance.

It’s me lighting the match

With shaking hands.

**Final Chorus (fractured, desperate)**

I did this to myself again

No villain left to blame

Just a pattern dressed like passion

And a love I couldn’t sustain

If I’m drowning, it’s by choice

If I’m bleeding, it’s my knife

I keep asking for salvation

While I’m burning down my life

**Outro**

One day I’ll run out of ruins.

One day I’ll run out of lies.

But tonight I’ll watch it crumble

And call it “no surprise.”

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