Forensic Frosty

(Verse 1)
The eggnog was spiked and the fireplace was dim
We all had a feeling it started with him
The reindeer were restless, the harness was tight
And Santa was looking for a reason to fight
Grandma went out to go grab some more coal
But she didn't see the sleigh go out of control
The neighbors all heard a "Thump-thump" on the roof
Now the CSI team is out looking for proof!
(Chorus)
Oh, Grandma’s in a cast and the North Pole’s under siege
The elves are all hiding under the frosted eaves
It wasn't just a hoofprint or a stray bit of fur
It was a high-speed collision involving her!
Weird Al’s on the scene with a camera and a mic
Documenting the carnage of the Christmas strike!
(Verse 2)
The reindeer are detained in a local precinct
Their chances of flying are nearly extinct
Dasher’s got a lawyer, Prancer’s gone mute
And Vixen is wearing a bright orange suit
The workshop is empty, the toys are all smashed
The sleigh’s in a ditch and the GPS crashed
Santa’s been shouting from the top of the tree
"You’ll never take me or my reindeer alive, see!"
(Bridge)
The gravy is cold and the ham is still frozen
This wasn't the holiday that we would have chosen
But Grandma’s a fighter, she’s sipping her tea
While plotting her lawsuit against the G-I-F-T!
(Guitar & Accordion Solo)
(Chorus)
Oh, Grandma’s in a cast and the North Pole’s under siege
The elves are all hiding under the frosted eaves
It wasn't just a hoofprint or a stray bit of fur
It was a high-speed collision involving her!
Weird Al’s on the scene with a camera and a mic
Documenting the carnage of the Christmas strike!
(Outro)
Merry Christmas to all...
And to all, watch out for low-flying livestock!
(Fade out with the sound of sirens and a squeeze-box)

Up-beat Polka-Rock with heavy accordion and a driving drum beat.