Forensic Frosty

(Verse 1)

The eggnog was spiked and the fireplace was dim

We all had a feeling it started with him

The reindeer were restless, the harness was tight

And Santa was looking for a reason to fight

Grandma went out to go grab some more coal

But she didn't see the sleigh go out of control

The neighbors all heard a "Thump-thump" on the roof

Now the CSI team is out looking for proof!

(Chorus)

Oh, Grandma’s in a cast and the North Pole’s under siege

The elves are all hiding under the frosted eaves

It wasn't just a hoofprint or a stray bit of fur

It was a high-speed collision involving her!

Weird Al’s on the scene with a camera and a mic

Documenting the carnage of the Christmas strike!

(Verse 2)

The reindeer are detained in a local precinct

Their chances of flying are nearly extinct

Dasher’s got a lawyer, Prancer’s gone mute

And Vixen is wearing a bright orange suit

The workshop is empty, the toys are all smashed

The sleigh’s in a ditch and the GPS crashed

Santa’s been shouting from the top of the tree

"You’ll never take me or my reindeer alive, see!"

(Bridge)

The gravy is cold and the ham is still frozen

This wasn't the holiday that we would have chosen

But Grandma’s a fighter, she’s sipping her tea

While plotting her lawsuit against the G-I-F-T!

(Guitar & Accordion Solo)

(Chorus)

Oh, Grandma’s in a cast and the North Pole’s under siege

The elves are all hiding under the frosted eaves

It wasn't just a hoofprint or a stray bit of fur

It was a high-speed collision involving her!

Weird Al’s on the scene with a camera and a mic

Documenting the carnage of the Christmas strike!

(Outro)

Merry Christmas to all...

And to all, watch out for low-flying livestock!

(Fade out with the sound of sirens and a squeeze-box)