(Verse 1 – Entering your 30s hits hard) 🎵 My back just popped when I got outta bed, oh no! My knees crack loud like a fireworks show, oh no! Used to stay out all night, now I just complain, One beer, two beers—now I feel insane. (Pre-Chorus – Dating’s a nightmare now) 🎵 Ohhh, gotta check IDs when I go on a date, Mmm-mmm, don’t wanna find out that it’s all too late! (Chorus – Aging sucks, people are soft, and life was tougher before) 🎵 Why’d I have to grow up? (Hey!) Bones hurt more than heartbreaks! (Hey!) Can’t joke ‘round like we did before, They’ll cancel me right out the door! 🎵 Why’d I have to grow up? (Hey!) Now I gotta watch what I say! (Hey!) Everyone’s soft, man, what went wrong? Missin’ the days when we all stayed strong! (Verse 2 – The internet ruined everything) 🎵 You used to take a joke, now you just get mad, oh no! Everybody’s triggered, yeah, it’s all so sad, oh no! We used to throw hands and then shake it off, Now they’ll tweet my name just to get me dropped. (Pre-Chorus – The dating world’s a horror show) 🎵 Ohhh, gotta run background checks just to be safe, Mmm-mmm, don’t wanna end up on some clickbait page! (Chorus – Aging, cancel culture, and missing the old days) 🎵 Why’d I have to grow up? (Hey!) Bones hurt more than heartbreaks! (Hey!) Can’t joke ‘round like we did before, They’ll cancel me right out the door! 🎵 Why’d I have to grow up? (Hey!) Now I gotta watch what I say! (Hey!) Everyone’s soft, man, what went wrong? Missin’ the days when we all stayed strong! (Bridge – Missing the good ol’ days) 🎵 We drank from hoses, we fell from trees, We fought our friends, but still had peace! Now one wrong word and it’s “You’re done!” Man, tell me—where’s the fun?! (Final Chorus – Same as before, but louder and angrier!) 🎵 Why’d I have to grow up? (Hey!) Bones hurt more than heartbreaks! (Hey!) Can’t joke ‘round like we did before, They’ll cancel me right out the door! 🎵 Why’d I have to grow up? (Hey!) Now I gotta watch what I say! (Hey!) Everyone’s soft, man, what went wrong? Missin’ the days when we all stayed strong! (Outro – Defeated but still rebellious) 🎵 Yeah, man, I miss the days… (Hey!) Before the world went all this way… (Hey!) One more joke and I might get banned, Guess I’ll just scroll TikTok, man… (drums fade out, the sound of a back cracking loudly… “Damn, that hurt.”)

“Why’d I Have to Grow Up?”