The 12 Days of ICE-mas

🎅 “This ain’t no silent night… Welcome to ICE-mas, baby. Ho. Ho. Holy f***.”

⸻

🎶

On the first day of ICE-mas, my country gave to me…

A plane ride to Alligator Alcatraz.

(You can’t make this sh*t up!)

🎶

On the second day of ICE-mas, my country gave to me…

2 ankle monitors,

And a plane ride to Alligator Alcatraz.

(You can’t make this sh*t up!)

⸻

3 barking dogs (in border patrol vans)

4 swamp guards grinning (with Trump bobbleheads)

5 MAGA rings (and one’s a f***in’ taser)

6 ICE men raiding (grandma’s birthday party)

7 drones a-spying (on a Taco Bell worker)

8 snakes slithering (in the prison moat)

9 Karens filming (from their cul-de-sac)

10 kids in cages (with Elf on the Shelf cams)

11 fake IDs burning (in a holiday bonfire)

12 ICE trucks blasting

🎵 “Build the wall” on repeat

(You can’t make this sh*t up!)

⸻

🎤

It’s a red hat Christmas in the Florida heat

Santa’s at the checkpoint, patting your seat

No sleigh bells, just tear gas and riot cuffs

You’re on the naughty list?

ICE don’t give a f*!**

⸻

🎶

On the twelfth day of ICE-mas, they shipped me off to sea

12 ICE trucks blasting

11 fake IDs burning

10 kids in cages

9 Karens filming

8 snakes slithering

7 drones a-spying

6 ICE men raiding

5 MAGA RIIIIINGS!

4 swamp guards grinning

3 barking dogs

2 ankle monitors

And a PLANE RIDE TO ALLIGATOR ALCATRAZ!

(YOU CAN’T MAKE THIS SH*T UP!)

⸻

“Deck the walls… with deportation forms.”

_Merry ICE-mas, motherfers._*