(Intro)
(Verse 1)
Back in '95, it was simple, just a way to act the part
Punchin' holes in pop cans, lightin' matches in the dark.
Started with the Seegrams, Mad Dog, and Saint Ives—
Just a way to let the inhibitions and the pressure slide.
Ten shots hit hard on the throat, but I was chasin' a feeling
I wanted to be the G.O.A.T., I wanted to hit the ceiling!
Not knowin' that the ceiling was actually a floor
And every easy shot just opened a darker door.
And now I spend my time hiding, always hiding
Convincing myself that I’m not lying, and I’m finding
That it’s only hard to do around you
You can see right through me to the heart of the truth
(Chorus)
We were just kids tryin' to feel like we were really alive
Watchin' the days and the inhibitions slide.
We started small, yeah, we thought we’d be fine—
Until the habit turned into a cage we couldn't climb
(Verse 2)
Fast forward to the present, look at what the graduate became.
I traded in the pop cans for a much more lethal game.
See, i just wanted attention, it’s depressin, it was a need
But the "medicine" is a master that’ll never sign the lease!
I graduated to the bottles that I used to look at with fear
Now I’m starin' at the bottom of ‘em every single year!
I told myself I’m stable, yeah, I’m stable as a house of cards
Waitin' for a breeze to come and blow me back into the yard!
I’m cussin' at the ceiling while I’m chuggin' on the 'tussin
If you ask me how I’m doin', man, I’m probably just bluffin'!
I "made it,right? That’s what the diploma on the wall says
But it doesn't mention how I’m haunted in' these hallways!
(Verse 3)
I’m losing my mind, I don’t think I’m alright
How did I get here? How did old shit turn into this?!
How am I not able to resist?
It’s been a hell of a year—it’s been a hell of a wreck!
I got the weight of twenty winters hangin' 'round my neck!
(Chorus)
We were just kids tryin' to feel like we were really alive
Watchin' the days and the inhibitions slide.
We started small, yeah, we thought we’d be fine—
Until the habit turned into a cage we couldn't climb
And WHY DO I DO THIS?! WHY DO I DO THIS?!
WHY DO I TREAT YOU SO STUPID AND FOOLISH?!!!
ITS CONFUSING!! ITS CONFUSING!!
ITS MORE THAN U DESERVE ITS ABUSING.
I HATE THIS! I HATE THAT I NEED IT!
I HATE THAT I TAKE THE PAIN AND I FEED IT!
I’M NOT OKAY! I’M NOT OKAY AND I SEE IT!!
ITS NOT OKAY THAT IM LEFT HERE ALONE AND STILL BLEEDIN!
(Outro)
Man... forget this shit.
I’m over it.
I do ME.
And you know it.
It’s how I survive.