Stupid shit

I'm just thinking always constantly thinking
was I always this way or is it from the drinking
Or the tweeking  man it must be
So dam much that I don't even trust me
or you too don't trust no one 
I was watching YouTube Henderson and shogun
Like I be thinking some fights in UFC
Just to get my mind off thinking of me
That's depression so much thoughts I should of learn my lesson
Where did I go wrong I'm a keep guessing 
Did the devil make me do it no excuses
I'm a blaze the flute and get abusive 
Yeah I'm stupid no one is perfect 
I'm broke because I no longer work bitch 
disabled from my heart no check in 2;years
But money is the least of my fears
Only fear God the rest I don't concern
Love don't live here anymore I already had my turn
It is what it is I don't need to go there
I can show you love but it's like who cares
who dare say something different 
I'm all alone everyday I'm not dissing
so I'm missing a big part of my life
Not giving up but how much I gotta try
You wonder why what the fuck would you do
I've been lost in this world and that's the truth 
I get it I need to figure out myself
I can't really count on anybody's help
I can go to hell basically how I felt
How else would you feel with no wealth and my health 
Trying to get by get a little better
My suicide note return to sender
Yes it exist like the thought in my mind
A man can only take so much but I think I be fine
I was just thinking so much bullshit in my head
You can born again forget the stupid shit i said

 Rap,Hip Hop