Torgue Flex (Explosions Only)

"This next act requires no introduction. He has a guitar. He has a microphone. He has a deep, profound love for things that blow up. He once replaced a man's spine with a stick of dynamite and called it 'physical therapy.'"

"Put your hands together for the man, the myth, the explosion himself…"

"MISTER TORGUE! LET'S GOOOOOO!"

I WOKE UP THIS MORNING AND I PUNCHED THE SUN!

THE SUN PUNCHED BACK! IT WAS AWESOME!

I GOT A GUITAR MADE OF GRENADES AND DREAMS!

EVERY NOTE I PLAY MAKES A SCREEN GO GREEN!

I DON'T DO SUBTLETY! I DON'T DO QUIET!

I SEE A PROBLEM AND I BLOW IT INTO A RIOT!

I ONCE KILLED A GUY WITH ANOTHER GUY!

THEN I EXPLODED THAT GUY! IT WAS A GREAT DAY!

TORGUE FLEX! EXPLOSIONS ONLY!

IF IT DOESN'T EXPLODE, IT'S LONELY!

TORGUE FLEX! GUITAR SOLO!

EVERY NOTE IS A GRENADE, BRO!

I GOT A SHOTGUN THAT SHOOTS OTHER SHOTGUNS!

I GOT A SWORD THAT'S ALSO A BOMB! IT'S CONFUSING BUT AWESOME!

I ONCE WROTE A POEM. IT WAS JUST THE WORD "EXPLOSION" REPEATED.

MY THERAPIST SAID "THAT'S NOT HEALTHY." I SAID "YOUR FACE IS NOT HEALTHY!"

THEN I EXPLODED HIS OFFICE! HE WASN'T IN IT! I'M NOT A MONSTER!

I'M JUST DEEPLY COMMITTED TO THINGS THAT GO BOOM!

IF YOU DON'T LIKE EXPLOSIONS, YOU'RE PROBABLY A ROOM!

AND ROOMS GET EXPLODED! THAT'S THE LAW!

I MADE IT UP! IT'S MY ONLY FLAW!

"He's been like this for forty years. Doctors say it's not a condition. Doctors say it's 'a lifestyle choice.'"

"DOCTORS ARE JUST EXPLOSIONS THAT HAVEN'T HAPPENED YET!"

"…as I was saying."

I BUILT A GUITAR AMP THAT SHOOTS FIRE!

I SET MY HAIR ON FIRE! I LOOKED INSPIRED!

I DON'T NEED A REASON! I DON'T NEED A PLAN!

IF IT'S NOT EXPLODING, IT'S JUST A CAN!

AND CANS GET CRUSHED! CANS GET THROWN!

MY PHILOSOPHY IS JUST "BLOW UP THE ZONE!"

SOME PEOPLE SAY "TORGUE, YOU'RE TOO MUCH."

I SAY "YOUR FACE IS TOO MUCH! AND ALSO NOT ENOUGH EXPLOSIONS!"

"You wanna know what I believe? I believe that every problem in the universe can be solved with the correct application of high-yield explosives. Relationship issues? Explosion. Economic instability? Explosion. Existential dread?"

"BIGGER EXPLOSION."

THAT'S THE TORGUE WAY! THAT'S THE TORGUE CREED!

IF IT DOESN'T EXPLODE, IT DOESN'T SUCCEED!

TORGUE FLEX! EXPLOSIONS ONLY!

IF IT DOESN'T EXPLODE, IT'S LONELY!

TORGUE FLEX! GUITAR SOLO!

EVERY NOTE IS A GRENADE, BRO!

TORGUE FLEX! WATCH THE SKY!

EVERYTHING EXPLODES! EVERYTHING DIES!

TORGUE FLEX! ONE MORE TIME!

EXPLOSIONS! EXPLOSIONS! EXPLOSIONS! I'M FINE!

"…and that was Mister Torgue. He'll be here all week. Please don't encourage him. He's already decided to 'upgrade' the bumper cars."

"BUMPER CARS WITH EXPLOSIONS! IT'S GENIUS!"

“I’m gonna need a new tent”