Always in Draft

Morning glow on a flickering screen,

Cold coffee on the edge of the scene.

Type then erase, chasing tail in a loop,

Every little sentence too scared to be proof.

Got your name in a half-written line,

Parked up quiet in a crowded mind.

Every time I get close, I pull back fast,

Swallow down “send” so the words don’t last.

If you could read the lines I never show,

Would you turn away or would you want to know?

I’m always in draft, never hitting send,

Your name in the subject I backspace again.

All of these feelings lined up in the queue,

Every single one of them aimed at you.

I’m always in draft, running out of time,

One more rewrite of the same old line.

If I ever press send and it all breaks through,

Will the light on the screen say “delivered to you”?

Always in draft, always in draft,

Never to you, never to you.

Streetlights smear in the late-night rain,

Headphones loud but I still hear my brain.

Dog by the door with a leash in his teeth,

Tapping out seconds on the kitchen floor beneath.

We walk where the side roads cut through the cold,

Past little lit windows where lives take hold.

I rehearse what I’d say if you walked down my street,

But the words turn to steam in the air when we meet.

If you could hear the thoughts behind my eyes,

Would they pull you close or just sound like lies?

I’m always in draft, never hitting send,

Your name in the subject I backspace again.

All of these feelings lined up in the queue,

Every single one of them aimed at you.

I’m always in draft, running out of time,

One more rewrite of the same old line.

If I ever press send and it all breaks through,

Will the light on the screen say “delivered to you”?

Maybe life’s not meant to be this neat,

Every word weighed out, every careful beat.

Maybe I’ve been waiting on a perfect line,

While the real thing’s standing right here in time.

So I dim that glow, let the edits all die,

Take one deep breath underneath this sky.

Type one sentence that can finally begin:

“I’ve been scared for years… but I’m all in.”

I’m done being draft, tonight I press send,

Let the truth fall hard where our worlds might bend.

All of these feelings breaking out of the queue,

No more “what if,” just “I want you.”

I’m done being draft, if it all goes wrong,

At least these words finally found their song.

If the signal gets through and it lands with you,

Maybe you’ll write back, “I was waiting too.”

Always in draft, till tonight, right now,

I hit send and I don’t look down.