Never Born At All

[Verse 1]
Yeah, I scroll through my own life like a timeline
Old pics, same pain in the bright light
Smiles on my face like a white lie
Telling everybody that I'm alright
Mom called, said she praying that I’m okay
I say “yeah” but I’m breaking in a slow way
Friends think I’m busy, I’m just in my room
Staring at the ceiling like it’s all I ever knew
[Chorus]
I don’t wanna die
But I’m tired of this war I’m in
Some days I just cry
Wish I never had to start again
I don’t wanna fade
But I’m heavy every time I fall
I don’t wanna die
But sometimes I wish I was never born at all
[Verse 2]
Every birthday feel more like a deadline
Candles in the cake like a landmine
Everybody cheering, I’m just thinking, “what for?”
Clap, clap, clap, then I’m hurting once more
Got dreams on the shelf like a thrift store
Tag still on, I don’t reach for ‘em anymore
I been running from the mirror, from my own name
Telling little jokes to disguise real pain (yeah)
[Chorus]
I don’t wanna die
But I’m tired of this war I’m in
Some days I just cry
Wish I never had to start again
I don’t wanna fade
But I’m heavy every time I fall
I don’t wanna die
But sometimes I wish I was never born at all
[Bridge]
Tell me, if I vanish, who would even notice?
Would they say my name, or just keep scrolling?
I’m trying to believe that I was placed here for something
So I keep on breathing even when my chest is crushing (keep on)
[Chorus]
I don’t wanna die
But I’m tired of this war I’m in
Some days I just cry
Wish I never had to start again
I don’t wanna fade
But I’m heavy every time I fall
I don’t wanna die
But sometimes I wish I was never born at all (at all)
(I don’t wanna die)

rap, Moody melodic trap rap, male vocals: close-mic, confessional verses over sparse piano stabs and deep 808s, distant choir pad in the back. Hook widens with stacked, slightly detuned harmonies and airy ad-libs, drums swing a bit more. Final hook strips to vocal, sub, and a single bell hit for a haunting fade., hip hop