Oh, darling, I'm just here to speak to the manager. He'll know what to do about this… disaster. (Piano enters, slow and melodic) (Verse 1) The eggs are runny, the coffee's cold A tale of woe that's getting old But not for her, no, not for me The queen of this sad cafe society She taps her finger, her voice a low hum "Is this the best that you can become?" The server wilts, a look of despair Another victim caught in her glare (Chorus) 'Cause she's a fishwife, a legend in her own mind Complaining about the price of gas, the line behind Her face a scowl, a permanent frown The most entitled woman in this whole town She'll make a scene, she'll cause a fuss All for a discount, just for us Just for her, the one and only Karen The queen of all entitled barren... (pause) Conversations (Verse 2) The grocery aisle, a war zone of carts She's blocking traffic, tearing lives apart "That coupon's expired? Oh, don't you dare! I'll have you know I'm a frequent shopper here!" She throws her keys on the checkout stand Demanding service from this tired land The manager's here, he's got that look He's memorized her complaints from a book (Chorus) 'Cause she's a fishwife, a legend in her own mind Complaining about the price of gas, the line behind Her face a scowl, a permanent frown The most entitled woman in this whole town She'll make a scene, she'll cause a fuss All for a discount, just for us Just for her, the one and only Karen The queen of all entitled barren... Conversations --- (Hard rock bridge kicks in, guitar solo wailing) (Bridge) The volume's up, the rage is real This isn't a suggestion, it's a demand, a feel! "I'm a customer, I'm always right!" Her face is red, a burning light She's shaking her fist, she's stamping her foot She'll get what she wants, or she'll press 'reboot' She'll call the cops, she'll call the press She's a one-woman show, a walking mess! THE CUSTOMER IS NOT ALWAYS RIGHT SHE'S A NIGHTMARE, A TERRIBLE FRIGHT THE PRICE IS THE PRICE, THE RULE IS THE RULE SHE'S THE ENTITLED BANE OF THE UNIVERSE, A FOOL! (Guitar solo shreds to a crescendo, then cuts out abruptly) (Piano returns, soft and simple) (Outro) She sips her coffee, now finally warm A tiny victory in this daily storm She smiles to herself, a job well done Until the next time, when the next one's begun.

Fishwife