Swamp Wi‑Fi Shuffle

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Prompt / Lyrics
[Verse 1]
I woke up late in my trailer
Mullet flat on one side
Got a text from my boss sayin'
"Son, you better find a ride"
My truck’s stuck deep in the driveway
Since ‘09 it just sits
So I grab my boots and a lukewarm beer
And a can of bacon bits
[Chorus]
Now I run through the cul-de-sac
Dodgin’ scooters, sprinklers, puffin’ my pack
Ain’t a jungle, it’s a dad-bod track
With a yard sale sofa and a busted kayak
Yeah I run (I run)
Through the cul-de-sac
Flip-flops flappin’ like a heart attack
Everybody yellin’, “Don’t come back!”
While I run through the cul-de-sac
[Verse 2]
Neighbor’s kid’s got a drone with a camera
Chasin’ me down the street
HOA takin’ pictures
Of my socks with little chili peppers on my feet
Dog next door thinks I’m Bigfoot
Barkin’ like Judgement Day
I’m just tryin’ to steal my cousin’s Wi‑Fi
From his minivan across the way
[Chorus]
So I run through the cul-de-sac
Past the mailbox painted like a possum snack
Trip on a skateboard, twist my back
Still chuggin’ this coffee in a Solo pack
Yeah I run (oh I run)
Through the cul-de-sac
Fitbit cryin’ like a maniac
My spine sayin’, “Buddy, we’ve made a mistake”
But I run through the cul-de-sac
[Bridge]
[Breakdown, drums drop, claps and guitar chucking]
I ain’t brave, I ain’t wild
I’m just a Wi‑Fi-huntin’ middle child
Front lawn jungles, plastic trees
Inflatable Santa starin’ back at me
(Keep runnin’)
From the bills, from the scale
From that lettuce rottin’ in a plastic pail
If I make it to the router by the cul-de-sac sign
I’m streamin’ all night on my cousin’s dime
[Chorus]
Yeah I run through the cul-de-sac
Past the pink flamingos and the Pontiac
Got three raccoons singin’ back-up tracks
And a mailman dancin’ with a fanny pack
So I run (I run)
Through the cul-de-sac
Whole town laughin’ at my panic attack
But they’ll all be knockin’ when the signal comes back
‘Cause I run, yeah I run
Through the cul-de-sac