[INTRO – Whisper/Rap] Yo… I woke up feelin' dangerous… …’til I opened the flat-pack. Now I’m fightin’ for my LIFE, bro. Allen key in one hand… hope in the other… --- [VERSE 1 – Rap Rock] Walked in the store feelin’ hardcore, Saw a lamp called “Görbflörg”, what’s that even for? Got a box that weighs more than my self-esteem, Instructions lookin’ like a toddler made a meme. Step one: “Insert screw B into slot A,” Cool— Except screw B is missing, man, I checked all day! I’m sweatin’ like a sinner in a saunas light, Tryna build a shelf that’s winnin' this fight! --- [PRE-CHORUS – Build] My patience is gone, man, I’m losin’ my grip— One more step and I’m flippin’ this ship! I’m about to snap, I swear on my life… --- [CHORUS – FULL SCREAM / ANTHEM] I’M ABOUT TO BREAK— …this tiny ALLEN KEY! Why does IKEA wanna traumatize me?! Every screw I drop goes into hyperspace, And every plank looks the same damn shape! I’M ABOUT TO BREAK— this bookshelf emotionally! If I survive this build it’ll be a miracle, G! Flat-pack rage burnin’ down my soul— Someone call Sweden, I’m losin’ control! --- [VERSE 2 – Rap Rock] My girl said, “Babe, it’s easy, follow the plan.” But the picture shows a diagram of a stickman?? Got woodchips in places woodchips shouldn’t be, And why’s the hammer laughin’ silently at me? I’m screamin’ at a plank like it insulted my mom, Drop the screws on the floor—now they’re FOREVER GONE. The instructions say “do not improvise,” But now it’s a desk… with legs of different size. --- [PRE-CHORUS – Build] I swear this shelf got beef with my pride, I’m one misplaced screw from a war crime. Swedish furniture got me feelin’ weak… --- [CHORUS – FULL SCREAM] I’M ABOUT TO BREAK— …this LITTLE ALLEN KEY! Why is this metal tool controlling me?! I twist and twist but nothin’ ever fits, IKEA turned me into an ANGRY MISFIT! I’M ABOUT TO BREAK— my sanity completely! Furniture shouldn’t need a PhD! Every board’s wrong unless it’s upside down— IKEA’s the final boss in this town! --- [BRIDGE – Quiet, Dramatic, Emotional Joke] I sit on the floor… questionin' my life… Surrounded by screws… and existential strife… Why does this shelf have twenty-nine steps? Why does Sweden want me to feel inept? [whispers] …step 14: “Ask a friend for help.” Nah man… I go solo. I die solo. --- [FINAL CHORUS – BIGGEST, FUNNIEST VERSION] I’M ABOUT TO BREAK— …THIS FUCKING ALLEN KEY! This furniture is straight-up bullying me! IKEA, why you gotta do me dirty— I’ve been building this thing since seven thirty! I’M GONNA BREAK— the whole assembly! This bookshelf’s now art— abstractly. Call it “Modern Chaos,” hang it on the wall— ’Cause I gave up, man… and I BROKE IT ALL! --- [OUTRO – Spoken] Yeah… I’ll just buy a pre-built one next time.

Break it all Down