Bent Halos & Bad Decisions

[Verse 1]
Found a busted-up angel at the Texaco
Smoking menthols in a camo coat
Said, "Boy, I used to glow on Sunday nights
Now I Uber folks from bar fights home"
She had a crooked little halo from a Waffle House brawl
Said, "You can lose your wings from drinking Fireball"
Pinned a church flyer on the bathroom stall
Right next to "call Sheila" and a tractor for sale
[Chorus]
Bent halos, bad decisions
Praise the Lord for roadside visions
We get lost, then ask for signs
From billboards selling cheap red wine
If grace had an expiration
Mine ran out back at the station
Bent halos, bad decisions
Still somehow fine by Sunday night
[Verse 2]
My cousin got baptized in a cattle tank
Came up speaking tongues ’bout his student loans
Pastor said, "Son, you gotta give it to God"
He said, "Cool, does He have Venmo?"
Mama's got a fish on the minivan
Flips folks off in the church parking lot
Daddy plays hymns on the jukebox app
Tips in quarters like it counts as tithe
[Chorus]
Bent halos, bad decisions
Sayin’ "bless your heart" with venom
We pass plates, then pass the flask
Hide the flask behind a paper mask
If saints need brand-new revisions
We’re the rough draft, half-cooked Christians
Bent halos, bad decisions
Still singing loud and slightly tight
[Bridge]
[Spoken, half-sung drawl]
Well, I ain’t perfect (ask my exes)
But I got that "work in progress" glow
Got a dented little ring above my head
From duckin’ under that barroom door
[Chorus]
Bent halos, bad decisions
Cracked up choir in bad conditions
We miss notes, we miss the point
Still line up for that roadside joint
If heaven’s takin’ applications
I’ll list "grits" as qualifications
Bent halos, bad decisions
But I’ll be fine by Sunday night (amen)

rock, Tongue-in-cheek country–southern rock parody; mid-tempo shuffle with twangy Telecaster, barroom piano, and big four-on-the-floor kick. Male vocals leaning drawly and dramatic. Verses stay small and story-driven, choruses explode with stacked gang vocals and clapping. Slide guitar licks answer punchlines; final chorus modulates up half a step for extra ridiculous glory., country, comedy, southern rock