I’ve done many things in life, learned a lot in life… so let me tell you about it
Don’t use the orange grit hand cleaner as lube, it will make you bleed (ooooh yeh)
When you have beeds in a woman, just do me one favor… don’t start that poor girl like a push mower
Sometimes that woman may be a dude
(always check for a ding dong)
Hey watch this
Hey bro
“what?”
do you know who Candice is?
“no who’s Candice?”
Candice dick fit in yo mouth (hahaha)
Do I remember asking?
Seriously I must have Alzheimer’s because I don’t remember asking
If you’re an American in a bathroom and an American when you come out, then what were you in the bathroom
European (get it? European as a person from Europe) bad joke? Maybe
Well fuck
Okay okay here’s another one
There’s a muffin in the oven, where is it now?
In my ass (these lame ass jokes)
I got a kitten, and I think she might be super man, she’s jumping around all over the place, biting the shit out of me, hissing at me…
and no I’m not talking about a cat… besides her unwashed pussy I can smell from a mile away and across the block
You know it must suck being a correction officer in a male prison
(hey C O we got a bus load of inmates coming in)
now I be looking at 37 different dudes lifting up their balls… but wait until they have to do the squat and cough and the one guy feels something getting inserted into his rectum (C O what the fuck!?) sorry my man, I thought you were offering