sometimes it grabs you, it grabbed me, out of nowhere, I felt it coming, it's crazy I thought ptsd was a military disability, still don't feel comfortable using the term, I don't feel it's deserving of my trama alone, I just wish these thoughts would leave me alone, sometimes I can't sleep or escape this zone, it starts with a familiar feeling or situation, sucks all life out of me, deliapateing sadness rendering me helpless, helplessly watching everything falling apart around me, sometimes it's like an earthquake shaking everything I care about and can see, I wish it would just stop and leave me, the life literally leaves me, except I still see, everything around me, unhappiness, not caused by me, but unable to stop it knowing what's happening, it's bad feelings wrapping up all around me, I wish I could escape taking the anxiety and sorrow I know that's happening away, to you, if I'm going to feel it why should you, you don't deserve this pain that I feel so sorry for you feeling this way to, un knowing what's to be, trust me, you don't need to worry this much everything will be ok, , I don't have any doubt, but I can see and feel what you're feeling, radeating of off me, it's killing me to see you feel like I did, dealing with it having me i think its PTSD, positive thinking is the only thing I can say will help along the way ,my love and everything im trying, keep your faith, don't let it consume you like it did me, your in a better position than me, trust when I say your strength and beautiful soul will light the way, don't let it lead you astray, you got this and I'll be here suffering with you every inch of the way, flooding you with whats left of positivity energy and everything good inside of me, fighting my feelings of my past for you and me today, leading to a better future for us to see, trust me, posativaty amongst darkness trying my faith inside of me, it's deliapateing, depressing, destructive, deadly, darkness, you don't deserve to see, your the shining light, I wish you could see yourself threw me, pride and uplifting beauty, are the first things I see, loveingly, devoted, superhero is what I see, strength, unstoppable, willpower, loyalty, trust, are a few more descriptive words coming to me, faith in you is something to believe, you got this with the little bit of help from my capabilities, stay positive, baby you got this trust me, please don't feel like I did before you came into my life unknowingly saving me, showing me love is still a possibility, reality, for me our eternity, I never know I ended up with PTSD, A thing I wish on nobody, especially the one I love more than anybody, to feel my pain hiding inside,

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