Holes in the drywall

Track 11-HOLES IN THE DRYWALL

[Verse]
I ain’t writing this for streams, I ain’t writing for applause,
I’m writing ’cause the mirror finally showed me all my flaws.
I’m writing ’cause the silence in my chest got too loud,
’Cause the man I pretend to be keeps pushing through the crowd.
I’m tired of the “I’m fine,” tired of the fake strength,
Tired of stretching lies across my life like duct tape length.
I’m tired of acting healed when I’m barely even breathing,
Tired of losing people I love and calling it “God’s season.”

I’m tired of waking up with guilt sitting on my chest,
Like a judge that never sleeps, never gives me rest.
I’m tired of memories hitting harder than fists,
Of replaying every moment that I ruined or missed.
I’m tired of being scared of the man I might become,
’Cause I’ve seen what I can do when my heart goes numb.
I’m tired of the bottle, tired of the Bible collecting dust,
Tired of praying for forgiveness I don’t think I can trust.

[Hook]
This ain’t a song, it’s a warning to myself,
A note taped to the fridge saying “Fix your mental health.”
A voice in the dark saying “Stop before you break,”
A truth I never speak ’cause it makes my whole body shake.
This ain’t for the world, this ain’t for the charts,
This is me ripping open all the locks around my heart.
If you hear this, don’t clap—just understand:
I’m not writing as a rapper, I’m writing as a man.

[Verse 2]
I’ve been carrying pain like it’s welded to my spine,
Like every step forward drags a ghost behind.
I’ve been smiling in pictures like I’m not falling apart,
Like the cracks in my voice ain’t the cracks in my heart.
I’ve been lying to myself saying “I’ll change someday,”
But someday never comes when you keep running away.
I’ve been drowning in regret, trying to breathe through the shame,
Trying to outrun the echo of my own damn name.

I’ve been scared of the truth ’cause the truth cuts deep,
It’s the reason I don’t rest even when I sleep.
It’s the reason I punch walls instead of talking it out,
The reason I shut down when I should scream or shout.
It’s the reason I lose people who were begging me to stay,
The reason I keep choosing the hardest possible way.
I ain’t proud of the man that I’ve been in the past,
But I’m done letting that version of me outlast.

[Outro]
So here it is—raw, ugly, unmasked,
A confession I didn’t know I had until you asked.
If this ever becomes a track, let it stay unclean,
Let it sound like the truth I never said at seventeen.
Let it hurt.
Let it heal.
Let it breathe.
Let it scar.
’Cause the realest things I’ve ever written
Are the ones I never meant to go this far.

---

If you want this turned into Tra

Raw intense hardcore blues & gangster rap mix