If I Would’ve Known

Go ahead, call me a coward

Say I’m not strong like you

I live inside my head too much

Step inside my shoes

⸻

I think I live inside my thoughts

Sometimes I feel like I’m gone

Smiling just to blend in

While my mind keeps screaming “run”

I never been at peace with me

Don’t need your pity talk

You give advice, then laugh it off

When I’m not around at all

Close the door, let me breathe

Just me and the silence

I carry weight I never chose

Tryna hide it, stay defiant

I been losing my balance

Fighting thoughts I can’t outrun

I don’t need saving speeches

I just needed someone

⸻

I don’t wanna disappear

I just don’t wanna hurt like this

If you could hear my heartbeat now

You’d know I’m still resisting it

⸻

If I would’ve known

You wouldn’t be here anymore

I would’ve made the moments last

A little longer than before

Now I’m alone

And you’re a picture in my mind

I would’ve given anything

Just to say goodbye

⸻

I still see you in the places

That we used to roam

Like your name is etched in everything

I can’t call home

We were summer in the daylight

Now it’s winter in my chest

I replay every memory

Wondering what I missed

I get angry, then I break down

Then I blame myself

Thinking maybe I could’ve helped

If I’d noticed signs you felt

Part of me is hurt and scared

Part of me feels left behind

I hate the thought you felt alone

While I was right beside

⸻

Maybe strength ain’t never silence

Maybe pain needs air

Maybe staying is the bravest thing

When leaving feels so near

If you could see me now

I hope you’d want me here

I’m trying to live the days

You couldn’t see so clear

⸻

If I would’ve known

That you were slipping out of sight

I would’ve held you tighter

Stayed a little longer that night

Now you’re gone

But I’m still standing in the rain

I’ll carry you inside my voice

So your memory stays

⸻

They say the world’s better off without us

But that was never true

I’m still here, breathing through the pain

For me… and you