Not Your First Choice

I’ve been chasing shadows, trying to understand

Why I was never enough, why I couldn’t demand

Your love, your time, your focus, all I wanted was real

But it was just a game to you, a distraction I could feel

Now I see through the lies, I see past the disguise

It wasn’t about us, it was about your own fight

I played a part in your pain, I wore it like a cloak

But I’m tired of pretending, tired of going broke

Can you finally see me when I speak?

It’s not about war, it’s about what I seek

A love that stays, not a choice you keep

I just want to be enough for someone who’s complete

You needed someone to drown your fears away

Refusing to heal, hiding behind what you say

I hoped I could save you, I thought I could be enough

But I was just a mirror for your own rough stuff

Now I see through the lies, I see past the disguise

It wasn’t about us, it was about your own fight

I played a part in your pain, I wore it like a cloak

But I’m tired of pretending, tired of going broke

Can you finally see me when I speak?

It’s not about war, it’s about what I seek

A love that stays, not a choice you keep

I just want to be enough for someone who’s complete

I wish I was your first choice, not just another plan

To fill the void inside, I need more than what I can stand

If you saw me, really saw me, maybe then you’d understand

That I deserve a love that’s true, not just a holding hand

So I’ll walk away, leave behind the ache

Hoping one day, someone will see what I fake

Until then, I’ll find my own way to be enough

Because loving myself is the real kind of tough