“Heaven in Reverse”

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I thought I was the angel.

But maybe I was just the fire in disguise.

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I swore I loved you purely / But maybe love can rot

I wore white in my mind / But my thoughts were not

I blamed your silence / While I built my walls

Told myself I gave it all…

But did I ever fall?

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You kissed me like salvation

But I never felt clean

Maybe we were both sinners

Pretending to believe

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Maybe I was heaven in reverse

A blessing laced with a quiet curse

I held you close but pulled you down

Said "forever" just to watch you drown

Loved you so deep it turned to worse

Maybe I was heaven…

In reverse

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I wanted to be your light / But needed you to chase me

Said I was loyal / While testing who would break me

I made you feel like you had to prove

That loving me meant losing you

I told myself I stayed too long

But maybe I fed the flame all wrong

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We dressed it up in poetry

But lived it like a war

We played the roles perfectly

Then forgot what love was for

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Maybe I was heaven in reverse

The angel with the hidden thirst

I kissed you soft, then made you beg

Wrote "I love you" with a jagged edge

I swore I’d save you — left you cursed

Maybe I was heaven…

In reverse

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If I could go back, I’d love you less perfectly

More honestly

No slow destruction disguised as beauty

No halo made of gasoline

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Maybe I was heaven in reverse

The ache you never saw coming first

You gave me peace — I gave you ache

You gave your truth — I gave you breaks

And still, I wonder which was worse...

To lose you

Or be heaven

In reverse

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