Same Place

Yeah, I don’t like the person in the mirror lately

Feel like everything around me’s going crazy

Try to hold it in but it don’t ever save me

I just bottle it and let it break me

I got people that depend on me, I know that

But I keep messing up and I can’t slow that

Every promise that I make, I seem to blow past

Then I sit alone and think about it, go back

Rewind every moment I regret

Every word I wish I never said

Every time I saw the look they get

Like they slowly losing hope instead

I don’t blame ‘em, I don’t even trust me

If I was them, I’d probably leave me, trust me

Say I’m trying but it’s getting ugly

Feels like nothing that I do can fix me

I don’t wanna be this way

But I don’t know how to change

Every time I take a step

I just end up in the same place

I feel lost in my own head

Every thought is filled with dread

Try to tell myself I’m fine

But I don’t believe a word I said

Yeah, I keep saying I’ll do better, then I don’t though

That’s the part that makes me feel like I’m a lost cause

I can see it in their faces when I fall off

Like they waiting for the moment that I drop off

I hate that I can’t give them what they need from me

Hate the fact I turn love into a casualty

Act like I don’t care, but it’s just fear in me

Scared that if they see me, they’ll be leaving me

So I push away before they ever get close

Turn a good thing into something I can’t hold

Tell myself that I’m just better on my own

But I know that’s just a lie that I’ve been sold

I’m exhausted from the war inside my brain

Every day I wake up feeling the same

Try to fight it but I’m stuck inside the pain

And I don’t even recognize my name

I don’t wanna be this way

But I don’t know how to change

Every time I take a step

I just end up in the same place

I feel lost in my own head

Every thought is filled with dread

Try to tell myself I’m fine

But I don’t believe a word I said

Tell me why I sabotage

Everything I ever want

Tell me why I build it up

Just to watch it fall apart

I don’t need another voice

Tellin’ me I’m not enough

I already say that daily

Yeah, I hear it more than once

If I’m being honest, I’m afraid

That I’ll never change

That I’ll stay this way

And push everybody away

And end up alone with the mess I made

Yeah… that’s the part I hate