Sneaky Link (Street Dolls)

**Sneaky Link Barbie (to the tune of something between early 2000s pop-punk and Way Too Much Energy at 2 a.m.)**

(Verse 1)  
I don’t got her number, she don’t got a phone  
She just lives in the alley where the trash cans groan  
Came home from the club, three shots deep in regret  
Found her posed on my doorstep like “bet you ain’t forget”  

She’s got that factory stare, mascara from 2003  
One heel broke off but she still walkin’ straight to me  
No Venmo, no texts, no “u up?” at 3:15  
Just plastic arms reachin’ like “boy you know what I mean”  

(Chorus)  
She my sneaky link, yeah my street doll bae  
Bendable, posable, zero emotional pay  
She don’t ask for commitment, she don’t ask for rent  
Just whisper “take my accessories off” and we vent  
My sneaky link, my curbside queen  
Got more bodies than Ken but the drama stays clean  
She my sneaky linkkkk (ow!)  
Street Barbie creepin’ in my DMs (which are dreams)  

(Verse 2)  
Neighbors think I’m weird ‘cause they hear the click-click  
Every time she arrives it’s like ASMR with a brick  
I yell “who’s there?” through the door like a coward  
She just mouths “it’s me, bitch” with no vocal power  

She don’t get jealous when I bring home a new one  
She just side-eyes the box like “hm, she’s no fun”  
But when the lights go out she’s back on her game  
Flippin’ positions like she invented the name  

(Chorus)  
She my sneaky link, yeah my bootleg Barbie  
Smells like PVC and a hint of “sorry”  
No feelings, no follow-back, no “where this goin’?”  
Just squeaky joints and a vibe that’s straight glowin’  
My sneaky link, my landfill flame  
Got me callin’ her “dollface” and she don’t even got a name  
She my sneaky liiiiiink  

(Bridge – spoken/screamed like you just caught feelings by accident)  
Look… I know she’s missing an eye  
And her left arm only rotates 47 degrees  
But when she hits that one pose on the kitchen counter  
I forget every red flag in the zip code, aight?  

(Last Chorus – extra pathetic energy)  
She my sneaky link, my 7-Eleven siren  
Pull up at midnight lookin’ like expired fashion icon  
She don’t cuddle, she don’t call, she don’t care  
Just stares at the ceiling like “this is our prayer”  
My sneaky link… my slightly sticky queen  
I swear I’ll recycle you… probably… next spring  
She my sneaky liiiiiiiiiink  
(plastic hand over my mouth like shhhhhh)  

Fade out with faint “click click click” and one lonely Ken doll crying in the toy chest

early 2000s pop-punk, Way Too Much Energy at 2 a.m., pathetic energy, extra pathetic energy, spoken/screamed bridge, ASM