

Prompt / Lyrics
**Sneaky Link Barbie (to the tune of something between early 2000s pop-punk and Way Too Much Energy at 2 a.m.)** (Verse 1) I don’t got her number, she don’t got a phone She just lives in the alley where the trash cans groan Came home from the club, three shots deep in regret Found her posed on my doorstep like “bet you ain’t forget” She’s got that factory stare, mascara from 2003 One heel broke off but she still walkin’ straight to me No Venmo, no texts, no “u up?” at 3:15 Just plastic arms reachin’ like “boy you know what I mean” (Chorus) She my sneaky link, yeah my street doll bae Bendable, posable, zero emotional pay She don’t ask for commitment, she don’t ask for rent Just whisper “take my accessories off” and we vent My sneaky link, my curbside queen Got more bodies than Ken but the drama stays clean She my sneaky linkkkk (ow!) Street Barbie creepin’ in my DMs (which are dreams) (Verse 2) Neighbors think I’m weird ‘cause they hear the click-click Every time she arrives it’s like ASMR with a brick I yell “who’s there?” through the door like a coward She just mouths “it’s me, bitch” with no vocal power She don’t get jealous when I bring home a new one She just side-eyes the box like “hm, she’s no fun” But when the lights go out she’s back on her game Flippin’ positions like she invented the name (Chorus) She my sneaky link, yeah my bootleg Barbie Smells like PVC and a hint of “sorry” No feelings, no follow-back, no “where this goin’?” Just squeaky joints and a vibe that’s straight glowin’ My sneaky link, my landfill flame Got me callin’ her “dollface” and she don’t even got a name She my sneaky liiiiiink (Bridge – spoken/screamed like you just caught feelings by accident) Look… I know she’s missing an eye And her left arm only rotates 47 degrees But when she hits that one pose on the kitchen counter I forget every red flag in the zip code, aight? (Last Chorus – extra pathetic energy) She my sneaky link, my 7-Eleven siren Pull up at midnight lookin’ like expired fashion icon She don’t cuddle, she don’t call, she don’t care Just stares at the ceiling like “this is our prayer” My sneaky link… my slightly sticky queen I swear I’ll recycle you… probably… next spring She my sneaky liiiiiiiiiink (plastic hand over my mouth like shhhhhh) Fade out with faint “click click click” and one lonely Ken doll crying in the toy chest
Tags
early 2000s pop-punk, Way Too Much Energy at 2 a.m., pathetic energy, extra pathetic energy, spoken/screamed bridge, ASM
2:20
No
2/15/2026