Fanta Clause

[Beat drops]
[ — hi-hats skittering,]
[808s hittin’ like bass-heavy snowballs,]
[ distorted synth bells in the background]

**Hook** (mumbled, auto-tuned, slurred)  
Aye, lit off the cookie, weed bake Christmas dough, uh  
Sippin’ Fanta nog, lean in the eggnog flow, skrrt  
North Pole bound, Santa ‘bout to watch the show, yuh  
Turn Mrs. Claus out under mistletoe, let’s go  
Eggnog on her forehead, nutmeg blunt smoke  
Fanta Claws ridin’, magic watch, no joke  
Sled full of hoes, Plan B in the stocking, aye  
Merry fuckin’ Christmas, bitch, I’m Fanta Claws, okay  

**Verse 1** (low, mumbled, half-whispered)  
Baked them sugar cookies, laced ‘em heavy with the gas, uh  
Edibles hittin’, room spinnin’ fast  
Poured the Fanta with the syrup, eggnog in the cup  
Double cup Christmas, ‘bout to throw it up  
Eyes red like Rudolph, nose runny too  
Codeine dreams, floatin’ straight to the North Pole view  
Kick the mansion door, elves scatter quick  
Santa on the couch, tied him with his own gift ribbon, shit  

**Hook**  
Lit off the cookie, weed bake Christmas dough, uh  
Sippin’ Fanta nog, lean in the eggnog flow  
North Pole bound, Santa watchin’ from the chair, no hope  
Mrs. Claus screamin’ my name under the tree glow  
Eggnog nut on her head, look like snow  
Nutmeg blunt rolled fat, smoke billow out the chimney slow  
Grab the magic watch, time bend, now I’m gone  
Sled keys in my hand, Fanta Claws reborn  

**Verse 2** (deeper mumble, ad-libs echoin’)  
Mrs. Claus bent over, ornaments shakin’ on the pine  
Santa cryin’ in the corner, “Ho ho ho” turned to “why”  
I bust, spray eggnog glaze all on her dome  
She lick it off slow while he stuck watchin’ alone  
Roll a nutmeg Backwood, spark it by the fire  
Smoke rise up the chimney, higher and higher  
Jump out the roof, sled waitin’ with the reindeer strapped  
Magic watch on wrist, whole world gettin’ lapped  
Slide down chimneys worldwide, hoes in every land  
Leave ‘em limp in the morning, Plan B in they stocking, damn  
Cookies crumbled, Fanta empty, syrup bottle dry  
But I’m forever lit, ridin’ sleigh through the sky  

**Outro** (slowed + reverb)  
Fanta Claws… aye  
Red cup sleigh… yuh  
Eggnog spray… skrrt  
Merry Christmas, bitch… Fanta Claws… gone

Mumble Trap, Syrupy Trap, Auto-Tuned Trap, Slurred Trap, Distorted Synth Trap, 808-Heavy Trap, Christmas Trap, Holiday