I Buried Myself Before They Ever Lost Me

[Verse 1]  
I used to think they left me, thought they turned their backs and ran,  
Thought the world just gave up on a broken, busted man.  
But truth is like a shovel when you’re digging through your past —  
It uncovers all the moments you swore you’d never face at last.  

I wasn’t there in body, wasn’t there in mind or soul,  
Just a shadow walking circles ’round a life I couldn’t hold.  
And every time they reached for me, I slipped a little more,  
Till the man they used to know was just a ghost behind a door.  

[Chorus]  
I buried myself before they ever lost me,  
Laid down in the darkness long before they crossed me.  
I dug my own grave with the lies I’d rehearse,  
Put flowers on the coffin of the man I was first.  
They didn’t walk away — hell, they couldn’t even see…  
I buried myself  
Before they ever lost me.  

[Verse 2]  
I blamed the world for leaving, blamed the pain I couldn’t name,  
Blamed the bottle, blamed the memories, blamed the fire, blamed the flame.  
But blame is just a blanket for a man who’s scared to feel,  
And I wrapped myself in silence till I couldn’t tell what’s real.  

My kids were growing older while I faded into smoke,  
They needed someone solid — I was someone who just broke.  
And every time they called my name, I answered with a ghost,  
A father in the shadows who was missing when it mattered most.  

[Chorus]  
I buried myself before they ever lost me,  
Laid down in the darkness long before they crossed me.  
I dug my own grave with the lies I’d rehearse,  
Put flowers on the coffin of the man I was first.  
They didn’t walk away — hell, they couldn’t even see…  
I buried myself  
Before they ever lost me.  

[Bridge]  
But graves don’t last forever  
When God decides you’re done.  
He pulled me from the dirt I chose  
And showed me to the sun.  
Said, “Son, you ain’t forgotten,  
You ain’t dead to who you love…  
You just got lost beneath the weight  
You should’ve handed up above.”  

[Final Chorus]  
I buried myself before they ever lost me,  
But I crawled out of the darkness where the devil tossed me.  
I’m learning how to stand again, learning how to breathe,  
Learning how to be the man my kids deserved from me.  
They didn’t lose their father —  
He was buried underneath…  
But I’m digging my way back  
From the man I used to be.  

[Outro]  
Yeah, I buried myself…  
But I ain’t staying in that grave.

Country, slow outlaw confession, minimal guitar, deep & heavy vocals, Heavy introspective of devastation & honesty.