Had it all

I had everything... I had it all

I didn't notice until it started to fall

No job, & no house

No kids and no spouse.

Fifteen years together you left unplanned,

Now I have nothing & noone left who understands

Everything is gone, including my heart

It's devastating, feels empty being apart

I worked so hard to get what I had

And in one day it was gone ... now I'm just sad.

I know one day I might find some good,

In what I hoped for from childhood

Until now it's been hurt and pain

Trauma lingers & I'm blind to the gain

I wish I could restart from day one of life I'd stay alone and never be a wife

I'd save the little girl who died that day

Because of her brothers vulgar ways

His own trauma passed on to her

4 years old, noone believed what occurred

Now adulthood came, so did more

Abuse, trauma, knocked me to my core

I thought I found my one true support

Unfortunately instead he broke while he fought

So now, from my errors of not being aware

I have nothing to show from 37 years here

Everything is gone and the blame is mine....

So now I carry on and hope that one day

Eventually...I'll be fine.