Don’t Wanna Know

Let’s put our parents’ clothes on…

Pretend we know what’s going on.

⸻

I throw on a façade, act like I’m alright

Say I’ll go to sleep, still up all night

Writing all these lines, they don’t feel like songs

Just notes from a head where something’s wrong

Locked in my thoughts, pacing the room

Thinking ’bout the past and an ending too soon

They say they tired of the sad shit, sorry that’s me

I’m just trying to find a little clarity

I wanna cruise with the top down, feel some air

Taller than the noise but they still stare

I don’t wanna fight, I don’t wanna prove

I’m chilling in the dark trying to spread a little truth

⸻

I say I’m fine, I rehearse the lines

Borrowed confidence, borrowed time

If I sound lost, it’s ’cause I am

Still trying to learn how to stand

⸻

I wanna go, be alone

But I don’t wanna know how it feels

I’m confused, torn in two

Between hiding and being real

I wanna go, far away

But I don’t wanna fade out slow

I’m confused, stuck in between

Wanting space, not wanting to be alone

⸻

I’m empty some days, full of noise at night

Everything’s dark ’cept this little light

They hate how I cope, say I’m doing it wrong

But I’m still here, so I’m pushing along

I push people back when I get too close

Build walls out of jokes and smoke

I tell myself love’s not meant for me

Then wonder why it hurts so deep

Got too attached, now I feel dumb

Cupid missed me with every one

I stomp the arrows, laugh it off

But my chest still feels kinda locked

⸻

I don’t wanna be a burden or a ghost

I just need the noise to slow

If I go quiet, don’t assume

I’m just catching my breath in the room

⸻

I wanna go, be alone

But I don’t wanna know how it feels

I’m confused, trying to choose

Between protecting and letting heal

I wanna go, clear my head

But I don’t wanna disappear

I’m confused, still learning how

To stay right here

⸻

Maybe I don’t need all the answers tonight

Maybe it’s okay just to dim the lights

Breathe in once, breathe out slow

Name the room, feel the floor

I’m not broken, I’m worn thin

That doesn’t mean I can’t begin

Borrowed clothes, borrowed fears

Still growing into my own years

⸻

I wanna go, be alone

But I don’t wanna know how it feels

I’m confused, but I’m here

And that’s something real

Let’s take these borrowed clothes off now

Learn our shape, learn how

I don’t have it figured out

But I’m still around

(soft fade)

Pretending less…

Breathing more.