Not Really There

Verse 1
I feel messed up
Years of lies and secrets
Cheating and hurting
The snide little comments
That made me feel guilty
(yeah…)

You played me
Played me well

Now I can’t think straight
I can’t breathe
I don’t even know what I feel
(don’t know…)

Pre-Chorus
How do you start again
With a life that’s broken
How do you erase
This kind of pain
(this kind of pain…)

Chorus
I’m stuck
So hurt and broken
But somehow I feel numb
Like I’m walking through life
And I’m not really there

People talk, I nod my head
But I don’t hear a word they say
I’m here in body
But my mind ran away

I’m not really there
(not really there…)

Verse 2
I thought I knew you
But I didn’t
I was living with a stranger

Sharing meals
Sharing a bed
Sharing a life

Then I woke up one day
And it was all a lie
(all a lie…)

Pre-Chorus 2
I don’t have words
For what you’ve done
There’s no coming back
From this

Chorus
I’m stuck
So hurt and broken
Yeah I feel numb inside
Like I’m moving through days
On autopilot

I replay every moment
Where did I go wrong
What did I miss
Why did I stay so long

I’m not really there
(not really there…)

Bridge 
I wanted the dream
The fairytale
Someone safe
Someone real

I wanted a best friend
Not manipulation
Not control
Not secrets

I wanted love
Not survival
(not survival…)

Chorus
I’m angry at myself
For not seeing sooner
For holding on
For believing

But I know one thing now
I don’t want you near me
I don’t want your voice
In my head anymore

I’m walking away
(I’m walking away…)

Outro
I don’t know how I start over
But I know this isn’t my end

I’m still here
Even if I don’t feel it yet
(I’m still here…)

female,alt rock/emo,edm,synth undertones,emotional,strong vocals