I Keep the Knife in My Head

Intro (low, warped)

Don’t blink.

You’ll miss me unravel.

Verse 1

I don’t dream anymore, I relapse awake,

Every thought of you got teeth in my brain.

I pace like a crime scene, tape in my chest,

Heart beating crooked like it knows what’s next.

I tried to bury you under days and drinks,

But you float back up through the cracks when I blink.

I don’t want peace, I want pressure and noise,

I want the moment right before I’m destroyed.

Pre-Chorus

You’re not evil, you’re worse—you’re quiet,

You don’t touch me and that’s why I riot.

I keep my damage organized,

So I can bleed without looking alive.

Chorus

I keep the knife in my head, not my hand,

I carve you into every “I’m fine.”

I don’t chase you—I rot where I stand,

Watching time turn into your spine.

I don’t want love, I want the ache,

I want the hunger that never breaks.

You don’t see me—that’s the crime,

I keep the knife in my head all the time.

Verse 2

Your name tastes like rust in my mouth,

Say it too loud and the lights go out.

I replay you like a warning sign,

Ignore it every single time.

You laugh like nothing’s wrong at all,

While I measure my life in how hard I fall.

I don’t want you here, I don’t want you gone,

I want the spiral to drag me along.

Bridge (manic, half-spoken)

Say I’m sick—I know, I know.

I make a home in the afterglow.

I don’t heal, I shed my skin,

Just to feel you crawl back in.

You’re not mine, you never were,

Still I shake like a guilty nerve.

Chorus

I keep the knife in my head, not my hand,

I carve you into every “I’m fine.”

I don’t chase you—I rot where I stand,

Watching time turn into your spine.

I don’t want love, I want the ache,

I want the hunger that never breaks.

You don’t see me—that’s the crime,

I keep the knife in my head all the time.

Outro (cold, hollow)

They say obsession fades with time…

Mine learned how to survive.

If I ever look okay,

Know it’s just the damage behaving.