Growing Up Alone

Yeah…

404 Leon

I was just a kid…

I was just a kid with my back to the wall

House full of people, still felt so small

Learned how to cry without making a sound

Learned real fast no one’s coming around

Toys on the floor, but my heart was broke

Wrote all my pain in invisible notes

Every “be strong” felt like “don’t be you”

So I swallowed my tears just to make it through

I remember nights I was praying to sleep

Asking God why love feels so damn weak

Why I felt empty before I felt grown

Why “home” always felt like I’m here alone

They don’t see scars when they’re buried inside

So I smiled wide just to stay alive

I don’t wanna feel that pain anymore

Still hear my name from that bedroom floor

Growing up alone, yeah, it messed me up

I learned how to hurt before I learned trust

I don’t wanna feel that pain anymore

Carried that weight way too long, too sore

If I let it go, will it leave me be?

Or is that lonely kid still stuck in me?

I grew older, but the fear stayed close

Every goodbye feels like déjà-ghosts

I overlove ‘cause I’m scared they’ll leave

I overthink everything they mean

If you raise your voice, I shut right down

‘Cause silence was louder than any sound

I don’t hate my past, I hate what it taught

That love disappears, that I’m easily lost

That I gotta bleed just to feel something real

That my pain’s the only thing I can feel

I was building walls just to stay safe

Now I’m trapped inside ‘em, losing my faith

I don’t wanna feel that pain anymore

Still hear my name from that bedroom floor

Growing up alone, yeah, it messed me up

I learned how to hurt before I learned trust

I don’t wanna feel that pain anymore

I’ve been strong for too long, now I’m worn

If I let it go, will it finally fade?

Or am I stuck being shaped by the pain?

[Bridge] (half-time, stripped beat)

Tell that kid it wasn’t his fault

He didn’t deserve being left so cold

He was brave just staying alive

In a world that forgot him every night

I’m still healing, but I’m learning to breathe

I’m more than the scars they left on me

If I’m still standing, maybe that’s proof

I survived the dark, now I’m telling the truth

Yeah…

404 Leon

Still growing up alone… but not giving up.